Slayers' Freetime - Beware of Xelloss
by Mystera
Summary: What happens when you mix loads of candy and soda, Xelloss, and lots of freetime? Read this and you'll find out! Enjoy and review!
1. Xelloss first encounter!

  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Slayers or any of its characters. I dont own Mountain Dew, Shock tarts, NOthing, ZIppo, NADA!  
  
OK. Here's the setting and what to expect. This is a pretty out-of control story, so there's craziness, a lil' bit of romance (not necessarily "romance"), and a LOT of humor... The story starts at a cafe, and most of the Slayer's crew is there. It has nothing to do with business, just to hang out and have fun... But we all know fun can get WAY out of   
hand....Enjoy! ..and ignore spaces or any of that junk.  
  
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Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Zelgadis, Xelloss, and Martina are all sitting at a table, munching a sipping at their food. The two bottomless pits known as Lina and Gourry are stuffing their faces with food, and the others are helplessly watching.  
  
Lina: WOW! This place is great! The got every kind of food! * bite, chew gulp*  
  
Gourry: And not to mention the food's good!   
  
Everyone else knows there is no use getting them into a good conversation, so Xelloss eyes Zel's coffee..  
  
Xelloss: Hey Zel.. can I try some of your coffee * evil grin*  
  
Zel: * looks uncomfortable* uh...I guess so but-  
  
Xelloss: ThAnK yOu! * steals mug of coffee and drinks all of it down.*  
  
Zel: you didn't wait for me to tell you that you just drank espresso, and mazoku are very sensitive to caffeine..  
  
Xelloss: Oh but I know! And in a few seconds I will torture your souls until the caffeine wears off!! Isn't it great???!!!  
  
Zel: I think the caffeine is already in affect...~_~;  
Amelia: uh-oh...  
  
Xelloss: HEEE!!! OOOoooo * jumps up out of seat and runs around** He gets on a chair and yells* HUNGRY PEOPLE OF THE INN!!! ( lina and gourry look at Xel) IT IS MY DUTY TO ANNOUNCE THAT LINA INVERSE HAS THE MOST SECRET CRUSH ON GOURRY!!!!!!!!  
  
Lina:THAT IS SOOOO UNTRUE!!! * blushes like mad*  
  
Gourry: ok. I believe you Lina, even though you did try to....  
  
Lina: Noooo..Gourry, I didn't.  
  
Gourry: But I could've sworn last night...  
  
Lina: Gourry, dear, it was only a dream.  
  
Gourry: uh..ok,.. I guess...  
  
Xelloss: Now wait a second, now I'm curious! What DID you do last night to poor Gourry?  
  
Lina: n-n-nothing!  
  
Gourry: Like she said, Xelloss, it was only a dream I had.  
  
Xelloss: And you beleive her?  
  
Gourry: Of course! Why shouldn't I? * Walks over to Xel and whispers in his ear* It's not like I have any choice if I dont wanna get killed by her!   
  
Xelloss: Ah, now I see. Gourry does have some intellect!!  
  
Gourry: *gourry-grin*  
  
Xelloss: Now.. back to my fun...* takes a Shock Tart out he got out of nowhere*  
  
Lina: Oh no, he's acting like he's high again...  
  
Xelloss: *jumps down from the table* No I'm not high! I just got off the table so I'm LOW! HEE! ..............Hey, Lina baby..* picks up Lina, sits down with her in his lap*   
  
Lina: *shocked, then throws a tantrum* XELLOSS METALLIUM PUT ME DOWN!!! * Xelloss kisses her deeply, and this shocks Lina even more*  
  
*Everyone is shocked *   
  
Zel: I knew I should've kept my coffee...now it's getting scary...  
  
Martina: Yeah I know.. (wishing she was Lina)  
  
* Xelloss stops the kiss, and lina is blushing bright red*  
  
Xelloss: I knew you'd like it Lina-san.  
*Lina slaps him*  
  
Xelloss: Oooo now I'm harder....  
  
Lina: Damn that! I forgot you were a masochist!  
  
*Lina runs away to Gourry*  
  
Gourry: Don't worry Lina! I'll be your protector! * He gives Lina a big hug, and shields her from Xelloss*  
  
Lina: * bright red blushing, and not trying to get away ^_^*  
  
Xelloss: Oh. So it's Gourry! Don't worry we can play that game too!!!So, Gourry, have you had any bi relatonships?  
  
Gourry: What's Bi???  
  
Lina: FORGET IT, XELLOSS!!!  
  
Xelloss: awww..... no fun.... * runs over to Zelgadis and Amelia and Martina* Hey guys!!! LOOK!! *points to window* *They all look and Xelloss steals Amelia's Mountain Dew.*  
  
Zel: Hey wait a second I don't see...uh oh...  
  
Amelia: My SODA!!!  
  
Xelloss: Whaaat Ssssssooooodaaaaa????  
  
Martina: I'm leaving before I get tortured. See ya! *Dashes for the door*  
  
Xelloss: Don't leave!  
  
Zel: She's gone.  
  
Xel: Oh.. ~_~..oh well! ^_^  
  
Amelia: Lucky her! *whispers to herself* maybe I should try to make a run for it...  
  
Xel: NO! You are staying!! * sits on Amelia*  
  
Amelia: *sweatdrops* Uh.. Why don't you go get Valgarv, then torture him?  
  
Xel: There's an idea! *disappears , then reappears with Val in his arms*  
  
Val: What the...  
  
Xel: Hey, honey. *hangs on Val*  
  
Val: Fuck!!! Get away from me you fucking fruitcake!!!  
  
Xel: Can fruitcakes fuck?  
  
Zel: Well I'm not gonna answer that! He'll get it soon enough.  
  
Val: Get him offa me!!!!  
  
Lina: Just smack him! ^_^ *evil grin*  
  
Val: Nice try, Lina. I know he's a masochist.  
  
Lina: Damn.  
  
Gourry: What's a masochist?  
  
Zel: You were hearing things again, weren't you, Gourry?  
  
Gourry: I was?  
  
Amelia: Yes, you were.  
  
Val: Definitely.  
  
Lina: For sure! I just got a manicure! The sun, I swear, It's bleaching out my gorgeous hair..*everyones staring at her*.. never mind ^_^;  
  
Xel:...Anyways, why do you guys lie to the poor stupid soul , aka: Gourry? Don't worry Gourry! I love you!  
  
Gourry: I'm not so sure that's a good thing...  
  
Lina: Alert the presses!! Gourry LEARNED something!!  
  
Xel: That's not nice!! ^_^  
  
Lina: *Grins evilly* Hey Xel! Wanna play a game?  
  
Xel: Ooo! Game!  
  
Lina: I'll ask you a question. If you get it wrong, you get fire balled, if you get it right, you get fireballed. K?  
  
Xel: K! ^_^ (kawaii!!)  
  
Lina: Now answer this question...  
  
Xel: The answer is Tequila.  
  
Lina: I didn't ask you a question yet!  
  
Xel:.... Oh, sorry,..... the answer is Gourry!  
  
Lina:..Dragu slave!  
  
Xel: *still standing there unharmed* You forgot to chant the spell, Lina.  
  
Lina: Oh yeah. Darkness beyond twilight (etc, etc)   
  
Xel: I'll be leaving you in 5, 4 , 3, 2, ..  
  
Lina... Dragu slave!!  
  
Xel: 1! Bai bai!! *Xel leaves with the blast*  
  
Zel: He's gone!!  
  
Val: It's a miracle!  
  
Amelia: Hooray for justice!!  
  
Lina: For once, Amelia, I agree!  
********************************************************  
This story was written under the influence of Mountain Dew, Shock Tarts, and watching too much Space Ghost coast to coast ( and laughing at everything stupid) You like? Please review!  
  
Thank ya kindly!!Oh! and no flames, this was an insanity fic, and it's like crap, so dont mind!  
  
  
  



	2. The Strip Club!

  
Slayers Freetime: Beware of Xelloss(2)  
  
Hey! What you are about to read is some..uh..weird shit. So, this fanfic should be taken with one Cherry flavored pop ( 7up , Pepsi), some Pixy Stix, and some other sugary things! Then it will be enjoyable!  
  
Oh, by the way, if you didn't read my other story, the first beware of Xelloss, Xel has a weakness to coffee, he gets really hyper when he drinks it. K?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Never let me own anything. I'd lose it.   
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The last time we saw Xelloss, was when we saw him get blasted away by Lina's Dragon Slave ( by his own will, of course). We spot our beloved psycho Mazoku friend walking down the road of a quaint little village, looking for something to do.  
  
Xel: *sigh* I need something to do. Maybe I can destroy the village...*evil grin*  
....nah, then I'd have to listen to one of Amelia's Justice speeches....  
  
He walks by a cafe, that has a HELP WANTED sign on it. He walks by it, does a double-take, then grins (evilly)...  
  
Xel: Hmm... What's this? Help Wanted: Richie's Cafe. As long as it includes coffee...I'm in!  
  
Xel walks in the door, and approaches a young man at the counter.  
  
Xel: Hiya! I'm here about the job....  
  
Young Guy: What job?  
  
Xel: Uh.. The Help Wanted sign was up there, so I'm guessing you need an extra worker..?  
  
Young guy: ...Is the help wanted sign broken?  
  
Xel: NO! I want the JOB!  
  
Young guy: uh..ok.. do you like coffee?  
  
Xel: ^_^ yes...  
  
Young guy: Have you ever worked at a cafe before?  
Xel: ^_^ no....  
  
Young guy: OK, your in. You can start your shift now, if you like.  
  
Xel: Oh goodie!   
  
Xel changes into his outfit: an all black ensemble, and gets behind the counter. He pours himself a cup of coffee...espresso, to be exact..a drinks it all down..  
An unfortunate customer walks in.  
  
Xel: HIYA!!! Welcome to Richie's cafe! We have a Wiiiiddddeeee selection of the BEST coffees! What can I do for YOU??!!  
  
Customer: u-u-uh,... I t-think I'll have t-the-  
  
Xel: Hurry Up!!   
  
Customer: I'll have t-the e-espresso..  
  
Xel: NO! MY ESPRESSO! *attacks the customer*  
  
We now see Xel getting kicked out by the manager.  
  
Manager: And stay out!  
  
Xel: *starts walking down the street* Oh phooey, now I have to find another job..  
  
*Xel walks by a gay stripper club*  
  
Xel: Goody! A perfect job for me! *reads the sign on door* Help Wanted: Must Be 21 or older and male. Hmm.. Well I'm WAY over 21, and last time I checked I was male so...okayz! ..What's this? *reads different sign* Bring a friend to entertain the audience...^_^ Ohhh Vaaallll!!  
  
*dissappears and reappears with Val*  
  
Val: *stoned* Duuude...what's up..uh, ...Xel?  
  
Xel: Nothing, sweety. ( lucky me! Val's stoned!) We're gonna get a job at a strip club.  
  
Val: Dude...cool...  
  
Xel: ^_^ he's going along with it!  
  
They walk in the doors, and sign up. The gay dude, which I will name...uh.. Lark..starts talking to them.  
  
Lark: Like, Hi guys, are you starting here?  
  
Xel: Yep ^_^ We're newbies, but I can't say I'm inexpierienced..^_^ As for Val..  
  
Val : *smoking pot* Dude, this is awesome shit....*puff*  
  
Xel: ..He probably never did anything but get high.  
  
Lark: Ohh... Well, your shifts aren't till tonight, so go tour the town with your sweetie ^_^*!  
  
Xel: Good Idea ^_^!  
  
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Now we find our other characters, Lina, Amelia, Gourry, and Zelgadis, in a small resturaunt in the same town. Well, it's your typical eating scene, with Lina eating like a wild animal, and Gourry doing the same. Amelia and Zel just watch helplessly.   
  
Zel: So tell me, Lina, why are we in this town again?  
  
Lina: 'Cause we're hungry, thirsty, and we need a place to stay tonight!! Got it!!  
  
Zel: *sarcastically* Oh, forgive me, Lord Lina, I didn't mean to interrupt your meal.   
  
Lina: *murderous glare* You're lucky I'm in a good mood!  
  
Gourry: It sure doesn't seem like you're in a good mood to me...  
  
Lina: And who asked you?!  
  
Gourry: The voices...  
  
Amelia: O_o ..voices??   
  
Lina: O_o Wha-  
  
Zel: It would be best if we just left this conversation.  
  
Gourry: How can we "leave" a conversation??  
Zel: ... forget I said that, Gourry.  
  
Gourry: K.  
  
Lina: *finished stuffing her face* Ahh, im full...  
  
Amelia: Okay, let's go check in at the inn.  
  
They all go to a nearby inn, and get 2 rooms. They decide to go around the village to see what was around...  
  
Zel: *sees Richie's Cafe* Hey, can we stop by that cafe over there?  
  
Lina: *sigh* ...for a little, I guess...  
  
*They all head over to the cafe, with Amelia hanging on Zel(poor Zel) and sit down at a table. The young dude comes over and they start to converse*  
  
Young Guy: Hello..uh.. can I help you?  
  
Zel: Yeah, what kind of coffees do you have here?  
  
Young Guy: Well ...ya.. you got *trying to read the menu* Itai-lian Row ast-  
  
Gourry: He means Itailian Roast, Zel.  
  
Zel: *sweatdrops* Yes, Gourry, I know.  
  
Amelia:*whispers to Lina* I think that young guy and Gourry have a common bond..*Lina nods in agreement*  
  
Young guy: Then..uh..you've got..the..uh *squinting at the menu* I Wish cream.  
  
Gourry: He means Irish Cream.  
  
Zel: No duh, Gourry.  
  
Young guy: But..uh.. we don't have any of that ..uh..strong coffee...expresso. Some weird guy with purple hair tried to work here and went psycho on a customer, and he spilt all of it...  
  
Lina: Uh oh...  
  
Amelia: ...eep...  
  
Zel: Not good...that means....HE's here.  
  
Gourry: Who's HE?  
  
Amelia:..HIM..  
  
Gourry: Who?  
  
Lina: You'll find out soon enough...  
  
*They leave, and start walking and talking in the village's nightlife*  
  
Lina: I wonder where HE is...  
  
Amelia: I know, HE's so annoying...  
  
Gourry: You guys are mean...~_~  
  
Zel: HE should be around here somewhere..^_^  
  
Gourry: You too, Zelgadiss.  
  
All three: ^_^  
  
*They all pass the strip club with loud music, they hear laughs and screams inside*   
  
Lina: ^_^ Maybe we can try in there...  
  
Amelia: Lina-san! That is not right!  
  
Lina: We're looking for HIM, not enjoying ourselves ^_^....  
  
Zel: *sweatdrops* NO WAY! You're not getting me in there!  
  
Gourry: Where are we going?  
  
Lina: *evil-grin* you'll find out soon enough, Gourry dear...  
  
After forcing Zel in, and explaining to Gourry what place this was, they all looked around. And of course, on the stage, was Xelloss and Val, in European bathing suits with black bows on them. Val, obviously , was still stoned.  
  
Xel: Lina-san!! I knew you couldn't resist me!!  
  
Lina: X-X-Xelloss? What the hell is going on????!!  
  
Xel: Well.... I got bored after you dragon slaved me... soooo I tried to get a job at a cafe, went postal, got kicked out, then I'm here!  
  
LIna: Why is Val here? Wouldn't he kill you right now?  
  
Xel: I snatched him up when he was getting high, and obviously he still is...  
*Val starts booty dancing to "Shake your bon bon*  
  
Lina: I see what you mean * sweatdrops*...  
  
Gourry: So who was HIM?  
  
Lina: him.  
  
Gourry: Who?  
  
Lina: Him! Xelloss!  
  
Gourry:.....ohhhh  
  
Amelia: He's hopeless...  
  
Zel: Obviously...  
  
Xel: Well?! What are you waiting for, Lina? Let's dance!  
  
Lina: uh....no  
  
Xel: *pouts* Oh, why not?!  
  
Lina: First of all, you're wearing a european bathing suit with a bow, and the song playing is Ricky martin, so...no.  
  
Amelia: *giggle*  
  
Xel: Fine! I'll dance with my true love! Val!  
  
Val: Dude, what the fuck is going on?! Why am I here?...Xelloss!?!?  
  
Xel:..uh..oh.....  
  
Val: Fucking Fruitcake mazoku!!  
  
Xel: Can fruitcakes fuck? ^_^  
  
Val : not THAT again!  
  
Lina: Should I Dragon Slave them?  
  
Amelia: Yep.  
  
Zel: Absolutely.  
  
Gourry:......huh? What were you saying?  
  
Lina: ...Ok then, Darkness beyond twilight (etc etc)  
  
Xel: I did'nt see THAT coming *sarcasticlally*  
  
Val: Oh shit....  
  
Lina: Dragon Slave!!!  
  
*Val& Xel are blasted away, along with the whole strip joint*  
  
Gourry: whoa.  
  
Zel: ........  
  
Amelia: Way to go, Ms. Lina!  
  
Lina: Thanks, Amelia. Let's go.  
**********************************************************************************************  
  
Soo...Review? Yes? No? Maybe?  
Please? Should I continue these episodes?  
I need your opinion! I'm open for suggestions!   
  
Email me at mystynight2468@hotmail.com  
  
Or talk to me on napster, my s/n is mystynight2468  
  
  
Thanx, and i hope you liked my fic!!  
  
  
  



	3. The Twilight Forest!

  
  
This is way to weird. I got the idea for this part during my literature class. We were watching some really dorky documentary. Ahh... It's sort of different then my other ones. But I hope you enjoy!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Plain 'n' simple.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
We start off to see our friends ,Xel and Val , lying on the ground, looking dazed and dusty. Xel gets up, dusts himself off, then shakes his head to get all the dirt out of his purple hair.  
  
Xel: Man, how far did Lina blast us? It looks like we're far away from any   
town...   
  
Xelloss looks around. They are surrounded by forest on every side, and miles away from any town or village...  
  
Val: *gets up and shakes his head* Ugh.... Where are we, fruitcake?  
  
Xel: Lina must've blown us really far...We're in the middle of nowhere.  
  
Val: Well, whose fault is that, Xelloss?! I'm really pissed off that you made me strip.. to.. to 'Shake you Bon Bon' *shudders*..  
  
Xel: *giggle* ..Ya gotta admit, sweety, it was hilarious..  
  
Val: I'm NOT your SWEETY!!!  
  
Xel: ugh, fine then! Like, be that way!   
  
Val: ..Okay, I will.  
  
Xel: *pouts*  
  
Val: Well, Mr. Valleygirl, what do we do now?!  
  
Xel: We- Hey! I'm not a valleygirl! You are! Val the Valleygirl!  
  
Val: Ughhh...Just shut up!!   
  
Xel: Fine!  
  
Val: So what do we do now?!  
  
Xel:..........  
  
Val:......Are you making fun of me?! You better talk!  
  
Xel:........... You said for me to shut up.  
  
Val: Well, first tell me what we should do!  
  
Xel: We walk!  
  
Val:.......... Where, dumbass?!  
  
Xel: We follow the river! ^_^   
  
Val: ...Rigghhht....*starts walking*  
  
Xel: Hey! Don't leave without me!  
  
So they start walking down the river to see if it leads to a village or town, and of course, Xelloss is bugging Valgaav the whole way. Suddenly,Valgaav notices something in the water following them..like a shadow in the water.   
  
Val: Xelloss, do you see something in the water?  
  
Xel:...Hm? No, I only see my beautiful body and yours together.^_^  
  
Val: Grrrrr....*smacks Xel*  
  
Xel: Ow that hurt! ^_^ Do it again!   
  
Val: *sigh* Why are you such a pain in the ass?  
  
Xel: Because it's fun!  
  
Val: Whatever.... Hey! What the-  
  
Suddenly the shadow that was in the water bursts out of the river, forming the shape of a young girl. She has pale blue skin, silver hair, and aqua colored eyes.   
  
Girl: Hello there. I've been following the two of you for a long while now, and it looks like you two are going nowhere fast.  
  
Xel: Hmm? What do you mean?  
  
Girl: You two are in Twilight Wood, also known as The Inescapable Forest.   
  
Val: What do you mean 'inescapable'?  
  
Girl: For some mysterious reason, once you enter this forest, most cannot escape. I've only known a few to leave.  
  
Xel: How did they escape?  
  
Girl: Sora wa himitsu desu. But, here's a hint: By the looks of your relationship, you'll never get out of here.  
  
Val: *sigh* You mean I'm stuck with this fruitcake in this forest...forever?!  
  
Girl: Well, yes, if you don't find a way out, that is.  
  
Val: NOOOO!!! *starts crying*  
  
Xel: What? Am I that bad? *giggle*  
  
Girl: I feel pity for you, boy with a horn.  
  
Val: *sniff* Thanks, your the only one who has ever said that to me..*sniff*  
  
Xel: heh heh..  
  
Girl: *smiles* I guess I can help you guys out a bit...  
  
Val: Really?? Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!!!   
  
Xel: *looks disgusted* Ugh, by the way, what's your name?  
  
Girl: Oh, me? I'm Krysta the water nymph. Just call me Krysta. How about you two?  
  
Val: Well, I'm Valgaav, and he *looks at Xelloss evilly* is Fruitcake.  
  
Xel: ^_^  
  
Krysta: Umm...k...  
  
Val: Well, Krysta, where do we go from here?  
  
Krysta: Well...follow me.  
  
Xelloss and Valgaav follow Krysta into a dense forest on the other side of the river. They follow Krysta through the extremely odd exotic flowers, trees, and plants. Every now and then they would hear a little giggle coming from deep within the forest. All of a sudden....  
  
Little voice: Ow! What the fuck?!  
  
Krysta: Uh-oh...  
  
Little voice: Hey you with the purple hair!  
  
Xel: Hm? Who's calling??  
  
Little voice: DOWN HERE!!  
  
Xelloss looks down, and to his suprise, there is a little fairy on the ground. She was wearing a little green dress, and had shoulder-length pink hair, and she looked PISSED.  
  
Little fairy: Why the hell did you step on me?!  
  
Xel: Oh... That was you? *giggle* Well, I did feel something crunch under my shoe. ^_^  
  
Little fairy: You BASTARD!!!*starts throwing a hissy fit*  
  
Krysta: Reimi, it was an accident! He's sorry!  
  
Xel: I am? ^_^  
  
Reimi: *turns angry-red* Oh, I'm gonna KILL YOU!!!  
  
Val: Oh I like this...^_^ Some little fairy-punk is gonna beat up Xelloss...ha.  
  
Reimi: Who are you calling 'punk' horny-boy?!  
  
Xel: Oh THAT'S a new one! ^_^   
  
Krysta: *sigh* Reimi, the least you can do is introduce yourself to these outsiders.  
  
Reimi: *pouts* Grrr...Fine! I'm Reimi! The toughest fairy in the forest! And you, punks?!  
  
Xel: I'm Fruitcake and he's Horny-Boy. ^_^  
  
Val: What he means is I'm Valgaav and he's Fruitcake.  
  
Reimi: Fruitcake? It suits him so well!  
  
Val: Doesn't it?  
  
Xel: I love it when you talk positively about me, Horny-boy! *glomps Valgaav*  
  
Val: * starts to run around* Get him offa me!!! Wahh!!!   
  
Reimi: ^_^ These guys are a riot, Krysta! How'd you manage to find them?  
  
Krysta: Well, I followed them in the river, and I decided to help them out. You know they won't get out of the forest if they don't get along.  
  
Reimi: Yeah , I know. But I still think that whole " Get Along to get out" is corny...  
Krysta: Well, you go tell the forest master that!  
  
Reimi: *sweatdrops* heh heh.. I'd rather not...  
  
*Val is still running around with Xelloss glomping him*  
  
Val:..Get him offa me!!!!!! Someone!! HELP!!!  
  
Xel: ^_^  
  
Krysta: Fruitcake! Get off him, you weirdo!!  
  
Xel: Nooo...Its fun!^_^  
  
*Krysta walks over to them and tears Xelloss of Val*  
  
Val: Ohh... Thank you ,thank you ,thank you!  
  
Krysta: *sweatdrops* Don't mention it...  
  
Reimi: *off in her little world, laughing her head off* Oh God it's funny watching you goons!  
  
Krysta: *sighs* Can we just continue?  
  
They walk deeper into the forest, until they reach a little clearing. There is a platform in the middle of the clearing, with weird and different inscriptions. Krysta walks up to it and chants a spell. Suddenly, there is a bright flash of light, and there are 2 more smaller platforms.  
  
Krysta: Valgaav and Fruitcake, will you please each step on one of the platforms.  
  
*Xelloss takes the right, and Valgaav takes the left.*  
  
Val: What is this for?? I'm confused..  
  
Krysta: *sigh* It's a test to see if you have the friendship to make it through the forest.  
  
Val: wha??? Friendship!? We hate each other!  
  
Xel: I don't hate you! ^_^  
  
Val: ugh...Let's just take the test!  
  
Krysta: Righty-o! Now, you have to say 3 things of MY choice to each other, with complete seriousness.  
  
Val: Well...Ok, it doesn't sound too hard...  
  
Krysta: Ok, Valgaav, you have to tell Fruitcake what you really feel inside for him, and it has to be POSITIVE.  
  
Reimi: *snicker*  
  
Krysta: Shut up, Reimi.  
  
Reimi: Sorry...=P  
  
Krysta: Ok, now Val?  
  
Val: ...ummmm... I guess I like Xel-er- I mean Fruitcake because he , uh, is, uh, funny?  
  
Xel: AWWWW!!^_^  
  
Krysta: *twitch* er... Xel, say something back to Val...  
  
Xel: I love yoooouuu!!!!  
  
Val: *sweatdrop*  
  
Reimi: Ha! What a freak!  
  
Xel: Am not!  
  
Reimi: Are too!  
  
Xel: Am not! I just love Val!  
  
Reimi: Bite me!  
  
Xel: Gladly. ^_^  
  
Reimi: er..*backs away*  
  
Krysta: You know what? Forget the other two things, just get the hell outta this forest!  
  
Val: Yay!  
  
Xel: Awww...no fun...~.~'  
  
Krysta kicks them out of the forest, and they start walking towards the dirt road. They spot something tied and gagged to a nearby tree. Guess who? Amelia!!  
  
Xel: Why, hello there, Amelia-chan, why are you tied and gagged to a tree?  
  
Amelia: Mmmff grlgf inaff!  
  
Xel: You don't say?  
  
Val: Just ungag her, Xelloss.  
  
Xel: ~.~' Fine.  
*Xelloss takes the gag off of Amelia's mouth.*  
  
Amelia: Wheww! I can talk!  
  
Val: Hey, where's Lina and them people?  
  
Amelia: They went in the village down the road. They tied me here because they said I was 'too annoying' and they wanted me to stay in the forest. I was the one who made everyone cooperate for the test! I don't know how they could do such a thing!  
Val: I just asked you one question...^_^'  
  
Xel: Anyways, thanks Amelia! We'll see you around!!  
  
Val: Yeah, bye!  
  
Amelia: Don't leave me! NOOO!!!;_;  
  
And Xelloss and Valgaav walk along the dirt road, to the new village that awaits them. Will they find Lina and the others there? What other new and stupid suprises await them?  
Find out in the next episode!  
  
Amelia: NOO!!! Don't leave me!!! WAHHH!!!  
~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Heh heh... That was weird...  
Uhm...maybe you can review?  
Thanx u r the best!  
^_^ see yaz around! & thanx for reading my story!  
~*~Mystera~*~  
  



	4. The Last Chapter! The Spa Encounter!

  
Hey its Chapter 4! The last and final chapter! What will happen? ..I have no clue...I'm improvising ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I will never own anything like a big company, so why sue me if I only have pennies?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Xelloss and Valgaav continued down the path to the town that would lead them to Lina and her lackeys..  
  
Val: Why are we always looking for Lina?  
  
Xelloss: um...because...I like to annoy her...and you're along for the ride!!^_^  
  
Val: Oh happy day ~_~......  
  
Xel: ^_^ Isn't it?  
  
They come across the entrance to a town , and read the big sign in front of it.  
  
Xel: *reading sign* Welcome to Chamomile: The Peaceful town.  
  
Val: I guess Amelia hasn't been in this town yet..  
  
Xel: Yep, thats why they tied her to the tree back there!   
  
Val: Oh.  
  
They enter the town, and they are greeted with the fresh scent of warm tea and herbal oils from the nearby spas.  
  
Xel: Wow! It's so peaceful!  
  
Val: And you're just ruining the atmosphere...~_~  
  
They see Lina, Gourry, and Zelgadis walk into a spa, and run after them. They enter the spa to see that they already were in a hot tub.  
  
Xelloss: *gets undressed and puts a towel around his waist* Oh val!!! Let's go join them!   
  
Val: Ehh...no..*tries to run out of the spa, but Xelloss grabs him*  
  
Xelloss: Just where do you think you're going?  
  
Val: To take a long walk off a short pier?  
  
Xelloss: Nice try, Val.  
  
Val:.......*starts to get undressed*  
  
Xel: Take it off, Val, take it off!  
  
Val: *starts to get mad..* Shut up, fruitcake! *Gets on a towel*  
  
So Xelloss heads off into the hot tub where Lina and Gourry and Zel are.  
  
Xellos: *grabs Lina by suprises(around her waist)* HIIII!! Lina-san!!  
  
Lina: AHHH!! HENTAI! *smacks xelloss*  
  
Xelloss: *dazed* ite....  
  
Lina: Whats the deal?! Don't touch me, weirdo! *Looks at Xelloss*...YOU!!!  
  
Xelloss: Yes..?  
  
Zel: What are YOU doing here?  
  
Xelloss: I can ask you that AND why did you leave Amelia back there, you know.  
  
Gourry: He's got a point...  
  
Zel: Well, we left Amelia back there cause there would be NO way in hell we could get some peace and quiet in this town if we didn't.  
  
Val: Very well put, Zelgadis. *Leaning against a wall *  
  
Lina: Hey Val, you look so sexy in a towel! ^_^   
  
Val: er-  
  
Xelloss: Doesn't he? *glomps Val*  
  
Val: *sighs* Thanks alot, Lina....~_~  
  
Lina: Aww, I was only kidding...^_^  
  
Gourry: Why is Xelloss hanging onto Valgaav?  
  
Lina: Because he's a fruit. Cake, to add that.  
  
Gourry:....Ohhhh...   
  
ZeL: How predictiable...  
  
Val: Um...some help here?  
  
Lina: Sure , i just hope my towel doesn't fall off....  
  
Lina gets up and prys Xelloss off of Val's back.  
  
Val: Thanx.   
  
Lina: Well, I guess our peace has been ruined, so why don't we go get Amelia?  
  
Zel: I guess.  
  
Gourry: Sure!  
  
Xel: I'm coming!  
  
All: *sigh* We KNOW!  
  
Xel: Oh...  
  
Val: Shut up, Xelloss.  
  
Xel: *Pouts* You're mean....  
  
Val: And when did you figure that out?  
  
So they whole crew leaves the spa and go to retrieve Amelia. But they meet a few people on the way...  
  
Xel: Don't look now..but there's Filia...  
  
Val: oh .. *Gets an idea* FILIA, oh FILIA!!!  
  
Filia looks up from her tea at an outside cafe.  
  
Filia: Yes?  
  
Val: Xelloss just said that the dragon race was stupid! Why don't we show him what ryuzokus are made of?!  
  
Filia: GRRRRR...RAW GARBAGE!!! *starts attacking xel with her mace*  
  
Xel: Ahh..to be loved..  
  
Val: Little queer friutcake....  
  
Lina: Ok,...Filia, care to join us?  
  
Filia: *stops* Why, sure!  
  
So they head out of the village to go get Amelia..and who do you think is there, taunting Amelia?  
  
Reimi (the fairy): Ha! Little girly got somethin' to say??  
  
Amelia: MMPHPOpH!!!  
  
Reimi: DIDN"t HEAR YOU!!!  
  
Krysta: *sweatdrops* Um..Reimi, I think you should stop...  
  
Reimi: Fuck you, Krysta! This is fun!  
  
Krysta: EXCUSE ME???!!  
  
Reimi: *sweatdrops* er-sorry...  
  
Valgaav sees them.  
  
Val: WHAT IS THIS? A FAMILY REUNION OR SOMETHING?!  
  
Krysta: OH no! It's THEM..  
  
Reimi: Oh shit, run!  
  
Krysta and Reimi take off into the forest.  
  
Zel unties Amelia.  
  
  
Amelia: Oh thank you Mr. Zelgadis! You wouldn't believe what happened, I-  
  
Lina: Trust me , Amelia, we would, now lets just get going.  
  
Amelia: *sigh/pout* Fine.  
  
So they all walk into the sunset.....to any new annoyance, I'll leave that to your little imaginations, cuz my neck hurts, and I'm tired, and I'm not writing any more chapters....K?  
Well, I still have the diaries to do...what is that , you say?  
  
Sora wa himitsu desu!!  
  
R&R!!!  
  



	5. Epilogue! Dinner at Mystera's!

...SURPRISE!!!!!! I'm doing an EPILOGUE of Slayers Freetime: Beware of Xelloss !!!!!! =D! I promise you guys, this is the FINAL chapter!! No more, no less. I did feel like it did need another final chapter, so I decided to write an epilogue to wrap things up. K???  
Enjoy the last and FiNaL chapter of :  
Slayers Freetime: Beware of Xelloss.  
  
^_^  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~The Whole Gang's Here! The Epilogue!~  
  
  
  
Xelloss was leading the exausted group on the journey to nowhere. All of them were walking slowly, moaning and groaning about traveling on an empty stomach...Well, almost all of them. Zelgadis was complaining about coffee withdrawl, and Xelloss was just humming the Barney theme song....O.o...  
  
Lina: Xelloss! Where are you taking us?!  
  
They were all lucky she was partially relaxed from the spa...But even that didn't help too much.  
  
Filia: Yeah! We have a right to know, Namagomi!  
  
She joined them a few hours ago at the town of Chamomile.  
  
Xelloss: Well....Sore wa himitsu desu!  
  
  
Valgaav just hit him over the head with a tree...Don't ask me how.  
  
Amelia: Mr. Xelloss! This is unjust! We are tired, hungry, and generally pissed off!  
  
Zelgadis: That is the first time I've heard you curse, Amelia.  
  
  
The little princess blushed.  
  
Xel: I'll give you a hint, I suppose. I'll whisper it in Vally's ear, and he'll tell you all!  
  
  
Xelloss whispered something in Val's ear, and he blushed and Val hit him over the head with his fist.   
  
Val: That's no clue, friutcake!! Give them a fucking clue!!  
  
  
Xel: Oh, fine. I'm taking you to someone who is very kind, but a little on the eccentric side. We are close friends!  
  
The group continued walking as they thought about the clue.  
  
Suddenly, they started saying names to Xelloss, hopefully that name being the person.  
  
Lina: Is it Yufflez?  
  
Xel: No, I know her, but it isn't her.  
  
Lina: Then...Is it Keri?  
  
Xel: No, no, no. She doesn't even live close to here.  
  
Zel: Is it...SilverStar?  
  
Xel: Negative. We're friends, but she lives near Saillune.  
  
Val: Is it SailorSaturnGirl?  
  
Xel: Oh, that cute little girl who worships me?? No, but we chat often.  
  
Amelia: Is it Yugure...Or Spark?  
  
Xel: We talk occasionally, but no. This person is very dear to me. You all know her! Come on! Use your brains!  
  
Gourry: Ohhh...It's Rei Firestar!  
  
Xel: *Facefaults* No!  
  
Zel: So it must be Wolfy-chan or MinaSailure...Right?  
  
Xel: So close, yet so far! They're cool...They worship me. ^_^  
  
Lina: It's not...Mystera...Is it?  
  
Xel: Ding! Ding! Ding! We have our winner!!!  
  
*silence*  
  
Xel: What?   
  
Zel: Mystera? Ok...  
  
Amelia: I've heard of her, but...  
  
Gourry: *in Gourryland*  
  
Lina: LON, save us!  
  
Val: Lina, chill. I've met her before... Xelloss actually listens a bit to her. We might have a chance to calm down Xelloss...  
  
Lina: Oh. Ok? *unsure*  
  
Xelloss: Ok, so we're going!  
  
~*~After awhile of traveling, lots of annoying conversations, and stupid questions, they reach Mystera's *cough-my-cough* house. ^_^ (a/n: I'm just playing!)~*~  
  
  
Xelloss: *knocks on the door* Mystera!!!! Come out!!! It's me!!!  
  
...silence.  
  
Xelloss: I'll be right back! *dematerializes*  
  
A scream is heard, and the word 'hentai' can be heard also.  
Conversation from inside the house:  
  
Mystera: What are you doing here? I was taking a shower!!!  
  
Xelloss: I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..barge in like that...  
  
Mystera: It's ok...I guess I didn't hear you.  
  
Xelloss: Oh, ok. I brought some friends along, they're waiting outside.  
  
Mystera: Invite them in!!...After I get some clothes on. Entertain them outside while I get dressed.  
  
Xelloss: K!  
  
*Xelloss materializes back outside, and everyone is on the floor cracking up from the conversation.*  
  
Xelloss: What?! *blushes* It was an accident!!  
  
Lina: Yeah...Sure*breathes* That was hilarious!!! *cracks up*  
  
Filia: Ahahah! Xelloss, you hentai! *cracks up*  
  
Zel&Gourry: *cracking up*  
  
Amelia: *observing quietly*  
  
Val: Poor Mystera....  
  
Mystera walks out of the door.  
  
Mystera: *ahem* Hi, there! You all must be Xelloss's friends...  
  
Lina: Sad, but true. ^_^  
  
Xel: You're all so mean!  
  
Amelia: I've been meaning to ask you, Mystera. Are you and Xelloss close friends?  
  
Mystera: *sarcastically* Yeah, Xelloss is one great shoulder to lean on. He's as reliable as a pile of-  
  
Amelia:-CENSOR!-  
  
Mystera:....Right.  
  
Lina: I know what you mean. He's always leading us into trouble!  
  
Xel: I know you have fun deep inside, Lina!  
  
Lina: Yeah, right.  
  
Mystera: Well, it's almost dinner time, would you all care to join me?  
  
All: If it considers food, we're in!!  
  
Mystera: OK, then!  
  
~*~  
  
  
Mystera and the girls all head into the kitchen to prepare the food, while the guys chill in front of the Tube. (T.V., people...)   
  
In the kitchen:  
  
*All hell has broke loose*  
  
Mystera: LINA!! Get back here with that chicken!!!  
  
Lina: MINE!!!  
  
Filia: Miss Amelia, I really don't think you add gasoline to the gas stove....  
  
Amelia: *Pours some on the gas stove*  
  
(BOOOOOOOOOOM~~~~!!!!!!!!)  
  
Back in the T.V. area.  
  
  
  
Val: I wonder what that was about!  
  
Xel: Lina probably tipped over the fridge again.  
  
Zel: Or worse.  
  
Gourry: Hush, you guys! This is when the dude with the mask comes and tries to kill the naked girl again!!  
  
All: Oh! *turn their attention to the T.V.*  
  
~*~  
  
The girls manage to put some food on the table, and they finish their meal.  
They say their good-byes, and thank Mystera for her hospitality.  
  
~*~  
  
Val: Well, I guess it's time to split ways. Me and Filia were planning to go back to Chamomile. It was relaxing there, so we're planning on settleing there.  
  
Lina: That's nice. Good luck to you! We'll see you sometime soon! K.I.T!!  
  
All: Bye!!!  
  
And they all walk off, in their own seperate ways to meet again.  
  
~*~  
  
  
*Back in her house*  
  
Mystera: Note to self: Never let Xelloss invite his friends over to my house. Next time we can party in a bomb shelter...  
  
  
  
  
~*~OWARI~*~  
  
Did you like it? If you want to see the continuing adventures, go read my other stories, Slayers Freetime- Zelgadis's Diary! ...More of those to come!!!!  
  
  



End file.
